Pope-rah says

Team Conan

2010-01-09T19:56:00.003-06:00

NBC Better Recognize!

Conan Lurv.

The Feud Over Huckabee

2008-03-15T12:29:00.002-06:00

The feud between talk show hosts Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Conan O'Brien began here:

Continues here

Scrappy New Year!

2008-01-02T21:58:00.000-06:00

2007-04-26T13:54:00.001-06:00

Heee! I had not seen this yet. It's completely bipartisan-ly funny. Well done, Dave writers!

Best Presidential Nominee?

2007-04-25T09:33:00.001-06:00

You probably haven't heard that Bill Richardson is running for the Democratic nomination for President. If you're a Democrat you need to know this as he is our best candidate running. He is the current governor of New Mexico and has been nominated 4 times for the Nobel Peace Prize for international relations. He recently negotiated with Crazy Dictaor of North Korea to have the remains of 6 US Servicmen returned to America. He was on The Daily Show while we were in Cabo. Here's his clip. I think he did a great job! Keep an eye on him.

What Not to Wear - According to Crazy Mom

2007-04-25T08:43:00.001-06:00

Katie, Suri and Tom's mother, Mary, leave one of Tom's kid's sporting events in March

One of Katie's "friends" is claiming that the brain-washee is starting to resent the controlling nature of Tom and his mother, who lives with them along with his sister and who-knows-what-other Scientology freaks assigned to mind their newly appointed "Christ".

Katie Holmes' friends say he's "meddling . . . controlling . . . won't let her out of his sight." Say she also suffers "a critical mother-in-law" who's around 24/7, monitors her clothes with "Isn't that too revealing for a wife and mother?," watches what she feeds Suri, checks Katie's own sweet tooth, saying nobody loves a fat wife, and reports all to Peeping Tom. They supposedly "beg her to break it off with Tom."

Wonder if these are the "friends" she was trying to get in contact with during the short time she was alone beginning filming of Mad Money in Louisiana? Can you imagine having to live with your Scientology Mother-In-Law? What a nightmare. Look at her. She even looks judgmental in sunglasses. And quite alien-like, funnily enough!

The Blind Post

2007-04-25T07:03:00.001-06:00

Blinds Items Found today...Guesses?

Which married bad-boy Oscar winner has a bit on the side with an early-20s NYC Latina beauty, said to resemble Beyonce? - Gatecrasher

Sean Penn (movie Bad Boys)?

So this A list film actor is currently filming on location. Did I mention he is married? So our actor has two trailers on the set. One of them is the "public" trailer, which his wife and friends of his wife get to see when they visit. The other trailer is not so public. The other trailer is basically porn central. From the PC full of porn to the DVDs, this actor definitely has a thing for it. No, I'm not going to say something like gay porn. It's straight porn. Umm, there is one thing, though. He likes porn stars to come visit so he can feel like he is a porn star. They reenact some of his favorite scenes in which the visiting porn actress starred. It certainly makes his days much more interesting than everyone else's on set. - Crazy Days...

hmmm....Sean Penn? Can he be both?

Michael Jordan is a Free Man, Y'all

2007-04-24T12:24:00.001-06:00

So it looks like Michael Jordan is enjoying his freedom after his divorce. He's pictured here partying it up with what look to be spring-breakers in Cabo a few weeks ago (No - I didn't see him when I was there). He is really getting into it. I'm thinking more like "mid-life crisis". Not sexy.

Source

Smelly

2007-04-24T09:53:00.001-06:00

Amy Winehouse answers the door in her bra a couple of days ago.

I love Amy Winehouse's music - A LOT - but homegirl is naasty. Everything about her looks sickly and unclean. Why are all of the best musicians junkie-psychos?

She used to look totally adorable. Class A Drugs are BAD, BAD, BAD, people....

"Right Cast" = No Drunkst

2007-04-24T08:26:00.001-06:00

Toby Maguire says he may be up for a 4th Spider-Man, of course with a lot of "ifs" - coz you know he doesn't want to ever have to work with Drunkst again. I mean I can actuall feel the loathing coming from this picture. Toby says:

“They’ll definitely develop a fourth movie,” Maguire said, “and write a
screenplay and I would consider it if there’s a good script, a good story
that I felt was worth telling and [director] Sam Raimi was involved and the
right cast came together for it.”

You know what he means. I would actually be very interested in watching a 4th Spider-Man if it included the "right cast" - no Mary Jane and Will Ferrell as a grown-up Spidey. He always makes me laugh in tight costumes!

Source

The Blind Post

2007-04-24T08:09:00.001-06:00

Blinds Items Found today...Guesses?

Which fatphobic supermodel paid for her PR rep's liposuction as a "present"? - Gatecrasher

Janice Dickinson? Kate Moss?

At a certain party this weekend, everyone thought bf/gf would pair off. The tabs said that gf paired off with another guy not her bf but they were also wrong. Turns out gf had her eyes set on the rich guy in the corner who she thought would be just right. She gave it her very best effort, but was turned down not because she did anything wrong, but because the rich guy in the corner wanted her bf. The gf thought that would be fun and made the proposition to her bf. He freaked out and she was pissed off. No one ended up with anyone. Which really might not be a bad thing. - Crazy Days & Nights

Paris Hilton, James Blunt, Josh Henderson? - eewww

Celebrities are idiots.

2007-04-05T09:49:00.000-06:00

“When I’m really hot, I can walk into a room and if a man doesn’t look at me, he’s probably gay.” — Kathleen Turner

“Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.” — Charles Barkley

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” and “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears

“We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” — NBA player Jason Kidd
“I look at [modeling] as something I’m doing for black people in general.” — model Naomi Campbell

AW

This is a public service announcement.

2007-04-05T09:31:00.001-06:00

Thank you, that will be all.

It's Monday and I'm feeling easily amused.

2007-03-26T15:15:00.001-06:00

Blind Item

2007-03-23T13:27:00.001-06:00

Pretty good Blind Item from Lainey. I really have no idea, but Sienna is my guess based on her hint from today (last quote).

ANTOTHER ON THE VERGE
"Depressed and directionless and bitterly disappointed over recent professional failures and feeling stifled by a ruthless mentor, she is apparently on the verge – like a Britney verge. Except in her case, she’s lucky the pappies don’t have so much access.
Wild, wild partying and an endless cocktail of serious drugs supplied by an unsavoury group of new friends who are as degenerate as they come, relentlessly pushing their poisons into her body. And apparently she’s too messed up to stand up and walk out. Word is she’s either “out of it” half the time or so wild on tilt with insatiable chemical appetite that even her
people can barely control her. She has been late or absent from a few recent engagements and while she was fortunate enough to have her team make new arrangements on the fly, her reputation is beginning to suffer…though that’s not the biggest problem.
The old friends fear the new friends are taking her down a dangerous path. Recent night out – by the end of the evening she was limp and lifeless and supposedly serviced by two different men and also at one point full on making out with another woman. She’s also been known to go missing, totally unreachable for hours at a time, and when she resurfaces, she’s a frightful mess.
Of course there are those trying to help her. And some days, she knows and she tries. But when the night comes and that crowd is calling, it’s trouble all over again.
Not Lindsay. "
AND THE HINT FROM TODAY "It's not Mischa Barton. Think more talented. And it’s not Rumer Willis. While Rumer is famous on the coattails of her parents, Verge Girl is famous on the coattails or the jocktails of someone else. "

What do you guys think?

JLo = Humility

2007-03-23T11:42:00.001-06:00

Jennifer Lopez in Paris promoting her ~~sucky~~ Spanish album.

Jennifer Lopez really thinks she's all that as she greets her "people" as she calls them because she thinks she reigns over them as their Queen. Where is PETA with a can of paint when you need them?

Where is Pope-rah?

2007-03-22T12:52:00.002-06:00

Anna Nicole is dead. James Brown is finally in the ground. Britney's out of rehab and Justin Timberlake officially "Rocked our Bodies".

Then I went to Vegas and now D is preparing to leave for Cabo.

We aren't dead and haven't abandoned Pope-rah, we're just exhausted with celebretards and what not. I promise we'll be back as soon as we finish nursing our hangovers and unpacking from our vacays! Like really soon, I swear to God.

AW

Hot and Generous!

2007-03-12T12:28:00.000-06:00

Brooke Burke and David Charvet bought 40 burgers and fries from Burger King and handed them out to the homeless in Santa Monica. They have a brand new baby at home so I'm not sure why they are doing this instead of at home inhaling that sweet baby smell but it's totally awesome of them to do it!

I call this "The Brangelina Syndrome" and I hope it spreads like wildfire because we need more decent and caring folks in the world.

AW

Happy Hump Day!

2007-03-07T08:13:00.000-06:00

Deelishus of 'Flavor of Love'

Oh. My. Damn. Is that thing real or are her panties stuffed with Charmin?

Her mug shot brings all the boys to the yard...

2007-03-02T13:13:00.000-06:00

Damn right, it's better than yours! Oh Kelis, you so crazy. She got arrested in Miami this morning for screaming obscenities at undercover cops dressed as hookers and was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. I looked like something that was pulled out of the bottom of a drain in my mug shot but hers looks pretty hot.
(source)

Miss Ross and her Fanny Pack, a true Lifetime story.

2007-03-01T19:56:00.000-06:00

What is it with Diana Ross and this fanny pack? She is fully committed to that damn thing. I guess I just don't understand the fanny pack. Is it because a purse is too heavy or is it so you can keep both hands free?

AW

When Crazy Met Cookoo

2007-03-01T19:31:00.000-06:00

Kimora Lee Simmons and Bai Ling exchange digits at a pre-Oscar party. Bai is openly bi-sexual and the lesbo rumors have been swirling around Kimora for a while now. Is this a hook-up caught on film? Does anyone really care? I apologize for wasting your time. Carry on.

AW

Ear Muffs!

2007-02-26T21:46:00.000-06:00

Madonna and Gwynneth Paltrow at an Oscar party

You can't swing a dead cat around these two without hitting a fake British accent. Gwinnie looks like she's complaining about the lack of decent help working the party. She's all "What's a lass gotta do to get a pint around here?" I'd like to tell her to kiss my arse.

The Incredible Shrinking Ho

2007-02-26T19:18:00.000-06:00

I'm no expert on Jenna Jameson but it occured to me today after I saw this photo of her that something is definitely wrong.
Here's the before picture of Jenna from about 3 years ago. Just your average, run of the mill, super hot, porn star:

And here she is a few years later. Looking like she has AIDS or at the very least a nasty crystal meth habit. Am I crazy or has she shed ALOT of weight lately? Somethin' ain't right.

Click on picture to enlarge

Head Bitches in Charge

2007-02-26T18:54:00.000-06:00

I love this picture. Nicole Kidman is so out of place with these bitches. You know Mary J. Blige can barely contain the urge to cut her ass. And what's up with Oprah showing so much cleavage? Damnnnn girl! Talk about a "full circle" moment.

AW

Once Upon a Time...Rose MacGowan edition

2007-02-26T13:12:00.000-06:00

Let's be honest. This bitch is hot. She even made Charmed watchable. She's had her moments of insanity (i.e. sleeping with Marilyn Manson and that chained link dress she wore to the VMA's) but she's also had moments of brilliance. I loved the movie Jawbreaker and she still looked semi-human in The Black Dahlia but I'm afraid those days are over now as it seems our Rose has developed a love of plastic surgery. See below for proof!

Rose MacGowan at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, 2007

Now she looks like she's 3 surgeries away from realizing her dream of being a Dixie Carter impersonator.

Dixie Carter

Friday Funny

2007-02-23T12:57:00.001-06:00

Sorry we've been slackin' off on the posts this week. The other Pope had the nerve to go to Miami for a quick vacay without me. Without her here I get lazy so blame her.

Twinkie-dinks!

2007-02-19T17:51:00.000-06:00

Do you remember when Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow were dating and they slowly began to look like each other? I swear, at one point you couldn't tell if they were twins or a couple. It was creepy in a Hemingway, "Garden of Eden" kind of way. I wonder if this whole shaved head fiasco was really just a subliminal message to Justin Timberlake. Maybe she'll grow a mustache next. That would be hot.

AW

Don't Feel Sorry For Her

2007-02-19T10:14:00.001-06:00

Britney Spears got out Saturday night for a birthday party at the Roxy in L.A. wearing a kiosk-mall wig after shaving her head Friday. Don't feel sorry for this ho! She is doing this for the attention. Someone with her cash could have called someone to her house to shave her head or sent someone out for shears if she was just doing it "for a fresh start" or "to rebel". She wanted to do it in front of the cameras. She also could have invited people to her house to celebrate her "friend's" birthday. There are ways to stay away from the paps. Lots of celebs do it all the time. Make no mistake this bitch lives for the cameras!

Bet You Didn't Know Britney Shaved Her Head...

2007-02-18T01:41:00.001-06:00

Picture Source: Egotastic

It's not like it was on EVERY NEWS CHANNEL IN THE WORLD.....*sigh*

Let's see... she checks in to rehab, checks out the next day, flies to Miami, then flies coach to LA, then shaves her head, then gets a couple of new tats. Home-ho is really bugging out! Maybe she has post-partum depression. Maybe she's a little ~~retarded~~ slow in the head due to lack of education or ever having to figure out how to do anything for herself.... or maybe it's all the drugs.

Picture Source: X17

UPDATE: Somebody at ONTD is reporting that she checked into Cedars Sinai and was diagnosed with ~~meth~~ Amphetamine psychosis but bolted in a fit or paranoia, and is now going to do a $cientology Detox. Those damn $cientologists would have to get their evil little hands in the middle it. They smelled cash.

Grammy Flashback

2007-02-17T22:47:00.001-06:00

Prince performs at the 1985 Grammy Awards.

Let's reflect back to a much more innocent time in the world: 1985. Prince was king coming off Grammy and Oscar wins for Purple Rain. to do this live performance the 1985 Grammy Awards. He totally works it! Check out the audience who runs up to dance at the end. Really check them out...hair, attire, dancing.... This video just takes me back and makes me feel all young and permed again. Enjoy!

Who came up with this ad campaign?

2007-02-14T17:55:00.000-06:00

I don't know if this is real or not. Even if it has been photoshopped it might as well be true. This Valentine's Day take a minute to send some love and positive thoughts to our boys and girls overseas.

AW

Blind Item

2007-02-14T10:06:00.001-06:00

Drunk & Fired?
Who’s rumoured to be thrown off his latest movie because he can’t stay sober? It wasn’t a starring role but those kinds of jobs are few and far between these days. Obviously being a dickhead has a lot to do with it…as does looking bloated most of the time. And unfortunately he doesn’t have Vince Vaughn’s charm. Or, for that matter, Vince’s more successful, more sought-after counterpart...which actually might be part of the problem.
Huge ego problem, not enough talent to back it up, using numbs the insecurity.
Always the same story.
Source

I'm guessing Luke Wilson. The clues seem to point there with "Vince's more successful..counterpart" being Luke's brother Owen (brothers being so competitive being part of the "insecurity" problem. Also Luke's has been considered bigger/bloated lately.

A Little Good News to Make You Smile on Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T08:16:00.001-06:00

Old picture of Paris Hilton in tears after getting booted out of Bungalow 8 in NYC last year

Paris Hilton was booted out of the Sony Party last weekend. Janet Charlton reports:

"Paris and her posse sneaked into the Sony party in the Beverly Hills Hotel. Apparently she knows of an obscure entrance. Anyway, she was starting to mingle when security approached her and informed her that she was NOT ON THE LIST! She couldn't talk her way into their good graces and agreed to leave, but dawdled and chatted as she slowly headed to the exit. Guards became annoyed and MARCHED Paris and her embarrassed friends OUT like sheep. "

That's the kind of Paris story I like to hear if I must have to hear about her at all. Maybe next time I could hear about some wonderful African-American, Gay and Jewish-Religious people getting together to beat her racist, ostrich-face ass to a pulp.

A Little Taste

2007-02-11T23:39:00.001-06:00

D - Hopefully he won't run around holding a camera in front of his face when we see him in 32 days...

W - It was like watching the Blair Witch Project. I expected to see snot and tears at any moment.

Orangina

2007-02-11T20:09:00.001-06:00

Christina Aguilera arriving at the 2007 Grammy Awards

W - She looks like she's been tanning with Lohan.

D - I barely recognized her without her fire-engine red lipstick...I guess she realized that red might clash with orange.

That's A Man, Baby!

2007-02-11T19:58:00.001-06:00

Ciara arrives at the 49th Annual Grammy Awards February 11, 2007

D - Seriously, that's a man....right??

W - I think I see a 5 o'clock shadow.

They Will Let Anybody Into the Grammys

2007-02-11T18:43:00.002-06:00

D - Who they? And what's wrong with that guy's face?

W - He's got that Fabio thing going on with his face and a TV preacher hair-do. How much hairspray do you think he has on?

D - Hookers

W - The Pussyrot Dolls

D - Kimberly Caldwell?!?!? How did this American Idol reject from eons ago get a ticket? The grammy's are losing all credibility to me. If Justin Timberlake doesn't win at least 2 awards tonight, then the Grammy's will become as important as the Blockbuster Awards in my eyes.

W - Again, I have no idea who this chick is. Who are these people????

Living rooms, bed rooms, dinettes!

2007-02-09T08:55:00.000-06:00

"It's just like, it's just like, a mini-mall".....Who knew Montgomery, AL had so much natural talent and fabulous shopping?

Joy & Pain

2007-02-08T11:31:00.001-06:00

How to find joy when there's so much pain in the world? You have to find joy in the pain, people!

Marc Jacobs is a weirdo.

2007-02-08T08:32:00.000-06:00

Okay, so Dakota Fanning is a cute enough little girl I guess. Although I'm beginning to wonder if she's the only damn kid in Hollywood. She's like 12 years old and has already done 33 movies. This kid gets more work than Philip Seymor Hoffman for Christ's sake!

Designer Marc Jacobs has now jumped on the Fanning bandwagon. He's made her the "star" of his latest ad campaign and I don't know about you, but these ads really creep me out. They look like they were shot in the basement of a pedophile's house. Check it out:

In the picture below she's just a wig and a tapdance routine away from being Jon Benet Ramsey.I think the next one bothers me the most. Is that her "come hither" look? Ewww!

Buy Some Vowels, Bitches!

2007-02-07T15:45:00.001-06:00

Click here to ~~copycat~~ make your own.

This is a 43 Year Old Man

2007-02-07T09:07:00.001-06:00

click to enlarge

YES, It is.

I'm not kidding..
.....

The Problem With Fergie's Face

2007-02-07T08:36:00.001-06:00

Everyday, many, many people come up to me and ask, "What the hell is wrong with Fergie's face?" I know, it has been a dilemma. There was no disputing that something was tragically wrong with her face, but sometimes it was hard to pinpoint. I've seen older pictures of her when she was in that other girl group, Wild Orchid and she was pretty cute. Then the meth took hold and she must have had some surgery to fix the meth-face. AND NOW, her eyebrows are waaay too arched. Damn, girl! That shit will age you for decades! She actually looks much cuter when her eyebrows don't seem so arched..see? Your welcome.

Pass the Dutchie on the Left Hand Side

2007-02-05T17:32:00.000-06:00

Pharrell and Justin Timberlake were looking high as hell at this Super Bowl party. I like to think of these two as pop's answer to Cheech and Chong. Only hotter. And more productive.

Okay so they aren't like Cheech and Chong at all except for that big blunt they obviously just smoked. In the bottom photo Pharrell looks like he's about to fall flat on his face.

Can anybody make out what Justin's got in his hand? I'm just askin'. In other news...

I blame Sienna Miller for this.

2007-02-05T10:55:00.000-06:00

This is exactly the sort of thing I was worried about happening when I wrote this post. In what reality is this an appropriate outfit to wear anywhere other than under your clothes? Granted, it was for a Playboy party but if she was going for "sexy" it got lost in translation somewhere.

(source)
AW

Is Brooke Hogan a man?

2007-02-05T10:42:00.000-06:00

Fergie and Brooke Hogan at Maxim's Pre-Super Bowl XLI Party at the Sagamore Hotel

Either Brooke is an AMAZON or Fergie is a shrimp. One thing's for sure, they could both pass for trannies.

The Constitution of K-Mart

2007-02-05T10:35:00.000-06:00

We have talked about Shirley Q. Liquor in the past. If you missed her the first time now's your chance to catch up. Have a blessed day.

Note to self...buy new socks.

2007-02-01T18:25:00.000-06:00

Paul Wolfowitz, the head of the World Bank was visiting Turkey this weekend when he had to take his shoes off to enter a local mosque and the world caught a glimpse of his raggedy old socks. You know this man is a multi-millionaire. What the hell?

(source)
AW

Pukey Hilton's to-do list

2007-02-01T16:02:00.000-06:00

This is a list found in Paris Hilton's storage unit along with all the other pieces of slutty memorabilia she's kept over the years. In the past week we've confirmed that Paris has herpes and now we find out that she's got bulimia. You're all shocked, I'm sure. Call me if you feel like throwing up.

AW

What's a guy got to do to get buried around here?

2007-02-01T15:08:00.000-06:00

James Brown has STILL not been buried yet. Can you believe this shit? As of today, he has been dead 38 days and 14 hours and is still above ground. He's in a sealed casket waiting for burial in Augusta, GA as soon as his crazy ghetto family settle his estate. I'm way past creeped out over this. Bury his ass already!

AW

I smell a rat.

2007-02-01T14:57:00.000-06:00

Denise Richards and Richie Sambora frolic on the beach in Hawaii

I've always been slightly suspicious of this coupling. I'm not sure why. It could have something to do with the fact that Richie Sambora has hairy pink man boobs while Denise Richards is sex on a stick.

AW

She's returning it tomorrow.

2007-01-30T17:50:00.000-06:00

I know it seems like I'm obsessing over this tart today but I just saw this picture and noticed what looks to be the plastic hangy-down-thingy that price tags are on. She should have saved the tag from those granny panties she's wearing as pants. I am so confused by them. It's January and the bitch is wearing tights and panties to a party.

AW

Blink once for yes and 32 times for no.

2007-01-30T09:30:00.000-06:00

Wake up , Cheney!

(source)

They never listen...

2007-01-30T08:40:00.000-06:00

We've already been through this with Blowhan. Panties are not pants! I just don't get it. Does she think that she's in Fame or something? You might think she's leaving the set from some step aerobics video in 1982 but she's not. She's headed to the Chelsea Hotel for an after party for the Factory Girl premier. Is it a girdle? Did Katie Holmes start a trend by baring her SPANX?

(source)

AW

Our Lady of Gaultier

2007-01-26T16:10:00.000-06:00

So the rich and famous just returned from French fashion week in Paris. Get a load of the newest trend:

Uh huh. That's right. Jean Paul Gaultier is responsible for this: Christian couture.

Ask yourself, WWMW? (What would Mary wear?)
Can't you just see our blessed mother wearing a blue silk slip?
Not to be outdone, Donatella Versace has created a men's wear line inspired by her favorite priest.
Father forgive me for I am FABULOUS!

Dang! I Miss Steve Irwin!

2007-01-26T10:41:00.001-06:00

Ross "The Intern" mingles with Steve Irwin. Good Stuff.

Morning Funny

2007-01-26T07:27:00.001-06:00

From the E! Channel, one of my new fave shows! In my imagination, they have nailed the essence of the Olsen Twins in this one! Enjoy!

Once Upon a Time...Jared Leto Edition

2007-01-25T15:42:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time there was a TV show called "My So Called Life" and it was the greatest show ever especially if you were a sensitive co-ed who liked to mope and pout. Actually, the most awesome part of MSCL was a hottie named Jordan Catalano played by Jared Leto. Girls and gay boys everywhere drew his name inside of a heart in their diaries. Pope-rah + Jordan sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. He was too pretty. You may refer to the picture below in case you don't remember.
MSCL ran it's course and Mr. Catalano got all full of himself and started a rock and roll band with his brother called 30 Seconds to Mars. Don't even click on that link. His band sucks. His band sucks so bad that Frodo told him so then almost got his little hobbit ass kicked. On top of all this, our boy has developed a serious eyeliner habit that has grown out of control. Jared, I don't know where it all went wrong but I wish you'd bring Jordan back to me...I mean us.

Thanks to the always smokin' hot Gaelvis for jogging my memory about this one.

Paris Hilton is a skanky ho!

2007-01-25T14:48:00.000-06:00

I'm quite sure you already knew that. You might be asking yourself, "Pope-rah, what could she do that would shock us at this point? We've already seen her naughty bits on the interwebs, her sex tape, her hacked Sidekick e-mails and photos." Well, the dumb bitch failed to pay her storage unit bill of $208 so the storage facility auctioned off her shit.

For $39.97 per month, you can join parisexposed.com and virtually rifle through her disease tainted belongings. Hazmat suit not included.

Page Six must have shelled out the fee because they have listed some of the items from the unit:
* Prescription bottles for Hydrocodone, a painkiller similar to OxyContin used to manage anxiety disorders, post-party sleep aid Ambien and the herpes medication Valtrex.
* A medical bill from a Los Angeles clinic, billing an "Amber Taylor" - with the same birth date as Paris - for a miscarriage in March 2003.
* A journal analyzing her booze-fueled dreams.
* Her reality TV co-star Nicole Richie's University of Arizona ID card.
* Sister Nicky's Nevada marriage certificate.
* Several bank statements, including one with an ending monthly balance of just $9.26.
* Home videos she shot of visits with her sick grandmother.
* To-do lists that include an assortment of errands, including a reminder to buy Christmas gifts.

Hilton tapes rambling messages to friends while filming herself in the mirror, saying she's too busy "smoking pot and eating burgers." The site also has diary entries where she refers to herself as the "hottest person in the world" and pictures of her and her friends doing every illegal drug out there. Check out the picture below:
This came from a home movie she made where supposedly there was a kilo of blow that all these celebutards were doing on this jerk-off's chest. And there is video of her doing a strip tease for Joe Francis. Gee, I bet that was a real acting stretch for her. I hate this heifer. I wish they'd lock her up for the sake of all mankind. Her woo-woo is a hot zone that could wipe out our entire species.

AW

Baba Wawa

2007-01-24T10:22:00.000-06:00

Barbara Walters at Katie Couric's 50th birthday party in New York (Jan. 13, 2007).

It looks like Babs got a little work done on her eyes recently. I used to be a big fan but after seeing her wishy-washy response to the whole Donald vs Rosie fiasco I've lost that lovin' feeling. She's hot for an old lady though. What is she now, like 85 or something?

Can we send her to fashion rehab too?

2007-01-23T15:41:00.000-06:00

Is that a pair of PANTIES on top of her leggings? As CD says, "Leggings are NOT pants." I'm glad Blohan has taken that statement to heart but I think she's missed the point.

Panties are not pants either, Linds.

AW

I ain't sayin' he needs seat fillers...

2007-01-23T09:46:00.000-06:00

The massive ego that is Jamie Foxx failed to sell out Madison Square Gardens this week. He's on tour with American Idol winner, Fantasia. You know he's still singing that damn "Golddigger"/Ray Charles sounding part that he's been milking dry for almost 2 years now. After the looks of this show, it think he's gonna be the one that's "broke-broke". Okay, that's the last Kanye West pun, I promise.

(source)
AW

Once Upon a Time...Nicholas Cage Edition

2007-01-23T09:17:00.000-06:00

You know, Nick Cage was never a stud muffin or anything, although I have seen "Valley Girl" like, a million times and like, totally wanted to go steady with him in high school. But he was still handsome in an unconventional way. The roles he took were edgy, heartfelt even daring. All in all he was like the boy next door. Cute, often over looked but very smart and that made him sexy. What the hell happened!?!

Nick is doing his best Elvis meets Marilyn Manson meets Billy Bob Thorton here. Here's a little tip for you, Nick: If you are losing your hair, do it gracefully. Let it go, shave it, whatever. But dyeing it jet black when it's already halfway to the back of your skull is never a good idea. Also, please lose the black leather pants. They are creepy. Thank you.

AW

Would you call that meatlifting?

2007-01-22T15:07:00.000-06:00

According to a new Slate article, meat is the most shoplifted item in America. Who's stealing it? Middle aged women. Could this explain why large handbags are all the rage again? Click here to read the article.

AW

I don't want no Pugs...

2007-01-22T14:42:00.000-06:00

Here at Pope-rah Says, we have many guilty pleasures. This clip involves two that we rarely talk about: The Montel Show and talking dogs.

Seeing as how Britney is keeping her lady parts covered today and there have been no celebrity breakups or arrests we're having a hard time finding things to snark on. Our bad. Instead, we bring you some Pug love!

Steering towards a new sterotype.

2007-01-22T14:25:00.000-06:00

Based on a new study by Insurance Hotline, Libras and Aquarians are the worst astrological signs to share the road with. They have more tickets and accidents than any other sign. They also had bad things to say about Aries:

"I'd rather get into a car with a 24-year-old Leo than a 25-year-old Aries," Romanov said.
Leos, described along with the study results, are "generous, and comfortable in sharing the roadway." Aries, on the other hand, "have a 'me first' childlike nature that drives Aries into trouble."

And on that note, I'm very happy to say that I am a Leo and CD happens to be a Gemini. Coincidence? I think not.

Go here to read the article on MSN.com

AW

TEAM K-FED

2007-01-20T12:53:00.001-06:00

I am officially annoucing that I am now on Team K-Fed (unless he does something incredibly stupid because that's just how I roll)

KFed was a backup dancer living in LA when Britney met him. He was semi-successful at it, having performed on tours with Christina Milian, *NSYNC, Justin Timberlake, P!nk, Michael Jackson, Destiny's Child, LFO and Britney Spears' opening act. Yes he had a girlfriend and yes they have one kid and she was preggo with their second and he leaves her for Britney Spears - dispicable and I'm not defending it. But, c'mon, it's Britney Spears! Before anybody knew her true colors. This is when she still had good management, stylists, and publicists. I'm sorry but most people are apt to get celebrity-stricken. Plus she was chasing after him - remember? Can any of us honestly say what we would have done in his situation?

Britney has proven herself to be a dirty-trashy-skank-ho time after time after time. Kevin deserves every freaking penny he can get out of her. She's the one who eagerly drug him into her spotlight and flaunted him around like a new purse.

Kevin can come of out of this on top if he does the following:

1. Never. Rap. Again. Forget it about it. Right it off to a phase of life.

2. Clean up his act and totally throw out the wigga, "thug-life" style. Go for a Justin-meets-Becks kinda style.

3. Limit your exposure, as I like to say. Take some acting lessons or some voice lessons and get good at something out of the lime light. Build up some credibility at something.

4. Be a phenomenal Dad.

That's just my opinion and not AW's so all you Britney fans/KFed haters don't hate on her.

oncur with CD. Show us what you got, K-Fed.

Justin who?

2007-01-19T15:50:00.000-06:00

'Atta girl...

CD - AMEN!! Love Cammie - and I hope Justin is seething!

AW

Everything comes down to poo.

2007-01-18T20:10:00.000-06:00

Well, it finally happened. Scrubs jumped the shark.

Somebody got into mommy's makeup!

2007-01-18T15:11:00.000-06:00

The Simpson sisters and their highly flammable hair extentions went out on the town this week. They need to give Christina Aguilera her lipstick back and fire Ken Paves for having the nerve to tell these two that their "hair" looks good.....granted, they are dumber than a box of rocks so they probably believe anything anyone tells them, like they're talented.

AW

Diana Ross: fashion plate

2007-01-18T09:23:00.000-06:00

This is what Diana Ross was wearing when she arrived a the Late Show with David Letterman last night. I think she and Tanya Tucker are on a crusade to bring back the fanny pack.

AW

Britney Schiavo?

2007-01-18T08:59:00.000-06:00

Too soon for that joke? Probs. I'm sorry but it's the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw this photo of her stuffing her face at some burger joint in LA.

(photo source)
AW

Michael Vick is a stoner

2007-01-18T08:38:00.000-06:00

Atlanta Falcons quaterback, Michael Vick tried to sneak some weed onto an airplane in Atlanta Wednesday morning. Apparently he had some sort of water bottle with a secret compartment. How James Bond of him. Well, I guess not too James Bond if he got caught...

UPDATE: This is the type of water bottle Vick used to bring his sticky icky on the plane.

AW

Afternoon Delight

2007-01-16T16:59:00.000-06:00

Jon Stewart + Stephen Colbert Forever

Speech 101

2007-01-16T10:04:00.000-06:00

Warren Beatty's lifetime acheivement award acceptance went a little like this. "Yeah, so umm, I'm old. Umm, I'm like really old. There's Jack Nicholson, he's still working hard. I'm old. Um, um, um." He rambled on and on and on. Seriously, I thought I would go into menopause before he ended that awkward speech it went on for so long.

AW

It's Because "I'm A Dancer"

2007-01-16T09:58:00.001-06:00

Paula Abdul continues her ~~binge-drinking,~~ ~~pill-popping~~ press tour, riding the crazy train with Ross McGowan (no relation to Rose) of KTVU in Somewhere, USA. Even he totally LOLs at her ass at the end. Anybody who can with a straight-face deny that this hooker isn't on something should've gotten a Golden Globe.

Pam + Jim Forever

2007-01-16T09:29:00.000-06:00

Jenna Fischer and John Krasinski want each other on the Red Carpet at the Golden Globes, January 15, 2007

I am a huge fan of The Office and live for Pam and Jim to get together and bump nasties and live happily ever after. Jenna Fischer is married in real life but a girl can dream can't she? John Krasinski is the cuteness.

What's Ellen Pompeo hiding back there?

2007-01-16T08:53:00.000-06:00

Possible answers:
- a diaper
- a tail
- her lunch (who am I kidding, she doesn't eat)
- McDreamy

AW

Jennifer Blah Hewitt

2007-01-15T20:19:00.000-06:00

AW - Now I know why her dog is on Prozac.
CD - .....................[dozes off]

You sexy bitch.

2007-01-15T20:04:00.000-06:00

AW - I'd say the break up with Fabrizio is agreeing with her.
CD - She's thanking her lucky stars she doesn't have to deal with him being there like her BFF Cam does with Justin.

Does she think she's in Dreamgirls?

2007-01-15T20:00:00.000-06:00

AW - I think Vanessa Williams thinks she Beyonce. And she's pretty ballsy showing up to an awards show in a fur. PETA will own her ass by sunrise.

CD - Great hair piece. It looks totally natural.

Poofylicious

2007-01-15T19:38:00.000-06:00

CD - You too can have a dress this fine. Just head down to your local Bed Bath and Beyond! Get yourself some string and a needle and thread and Voila! Perfect from the Shower to the Red Carpet. And your calves and ankles wll stay exfoliated all night.

AW - It looks like it would tickle. And if it looks like something Ms Jay from ANTM might wear then you probably shouldn't wear it.

Angelina Needs To Start Thinkin' Arby's

2007-01-15T19:16:00.001-06:00

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie arrive at the Golden Globes, January 15, 2007

D - Angelina needs to get some Roast Beef and Curly Fries ASAP! She is looking pretty frail at the Golden Globes. I don't know how she has energy to do anything being in this shape. These pictures don't actually do it justice she looked really thin in the video.

W - Is he holding her up? Maybe she'll eat a grape or something at the after party. Oh who am I kidding, half a grape. And Brad is looking waxy these days. She's sucking the hotness out of him.

Is He Looking at Me?

2007-01-15T19:05:00.001-06:00

D - Cameron and Justin arrived on the red carpet late and pretty close together time-wise. I feel her pain. She's working it though. Her lips are too red and I hate that strap.
W - Yeah, you know that has to suck. I gotta give her props for showing up though. I think I might have just called in sick. But I'm a lazy bitch that way.

Poser

2007-01-15T18:09:00.001-06:00

Zack Braff arrives at the Golden Globe Awards, January 15, 2007

D - Do you think he practiced this pose in his mirror at home all week?

W - He's such a pussy. I'm hatin' him these days. He needs to go be gay or something.

B.J. Novak of The Office arrives at the Golden Globe Awards, January 15, 2007

D - I'm almost 100% certain the he posed in front of the mirror all week. That shit is suave!!

W - Bless his heart.

Worst. Extenstions. Ever.

2007-01-15T16:01:00.001-06:00

I know there are a lot of people who take up for Britney on comments pages, but I just don't get it. Girl looks dreadful in every picture taken of her. Seriously, you know she got these hair extenstions from the kiosk at the mall.

Ann Heche Attends ABC Party In Spirit Only

2007-01-15T14:57:00.001-06:00

Ann Heche attends the Disney/ABC Television Group All Star Party on January 14, 2007

I swear this is Ann Heche's ghost appearing on the red carpet. If you look hard enough you can see right through her.

What Not to Wear - Aztec Edition

2007-01-15T14:43:00.000-06:00

Rachel Hunter at HBO’s Annual Pre-Golden Globe Reception, January 13, 2007

Let's see - Black Jersey Mini-Dress with static-cling, lacey tights, cowboy boots, aztec-print rabbit-hair vest, purse from Claire's, and rat's-nest hair. Let me guess, the airline lost her luggage and she spent the night at Britney's?

CD

Did Jeanne Tripplehorn Switch Teams?

2007-01-15T14:02:00.001-06:00

Somebody I believe to be Jeanne Tripplehorn and Gennifer Goodwin at HBO’s Annual Pre-Golden Globe Reception, January 13, 2007

Is this Jeanne Tripplehorn? From Basic Instinct and Big Love? Wow! That's a pretty masculine look. Isn't it style-protocol for women to accenuate the lips or eyes with a suit? She's supposedly "married" though. Like that means anything in Hollywood. Gennifer Goodwin, though probably not into women yet, may be soon since she's dating that chauvanistic Chris Klein, who will probably turn her off men for a while.

One in a million.

2007-01-15T13:58:00.000-06:00

While there may be many pretenders to the throne, Spears is in a class of her own when it comes to young celebrity train wrecks. Shocker, right? I think she just doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks about her which is usually an attribute I admire in a person. I said usually. In this case I'm repulsed and a little bored.

AW

Ashley Olsen has OCD

2007-01-15T09:05:00.000-06:00

Again, I apologize for the lameness of this post. Slow news day. Apparently little miss Ashley Olsen thinks she has OCD because she washes her face 4 times a day. I say we put her on JLH's dog's Prozac and be done with it. And for the record, I think someone ought to clue her in as to what OCD really is.

AW

Jennifer Love Hewitt = BORING.

2007-01-15T08:54:00.000-06:00

You know it's a slow news day when I'm writing about JLH's dog being on Prozac. So he licks at the air? If that's the criteria for being crazy then I passed crazy about 5 miles back.

AW

Say cheese!

2007-01-14T19:11:00.000-06:00

Doesn't this ho have dental insurance? I think if I were her I'd worry less about spray on tans and designer dresses and more about fixin' her grill. Seriously, the girl has TWO Bentleys but can't buy a crown?

AW

John Waters Hearts K-Fed

2007-01-13T10:49:00.000-06:00

I mean, what's not to love?

KEVIN Federline still has at least one fan: director John Waters. "You don't see him out there getting out of limousines and flashing his shaved crotch," the director of "Hairspray" told a Canadian reporter. "He's been the gentleman since they split up." Waters, who even bought Federline's CD, said, "I'm a big fan of K-Fed . . . What did he do that was so wrong? She [Britney Spears] is the idiot. She's the one who gave him the Ferrari. Who gives a Ferrari to rough trade? . . . And he looks good whether he's all cleaned up or long-haired and sleazy."

No really, I think K-Fed is doing much better than Britney these days with public image being that she is a complete piece of trash not to mention a skank-ho. But let's don't forget that he's still a tool:

Burkha Beach Blanket Bingo!

2007-01-12T18:01:00.000-06:00

Dynamic Swimwear and Sportswear forToday's Muslim Female

Yes, that is what Ahiida Products sells. I swear to Allah that I didn't make that slogan up. It came right off of their website. They sell swimsuits that are a little more modest than we're used to seeing. Check out the breezy in the picture below. She's all, "Damn, I look good." I'm all, "How can we get Brit-Brit to wear one of these?"
AW

Your roots, your roots, your roots are on fire!

2007-01-12T14:04:00.000-06:00

Madonna, you should be ashamed of yourself! You go on a national late night show looking like that? She looks like she hasn't had her roots done in months. What possible excuse could she have for this? Come on, I even manage to keeps up with my touch-ups and I don't have a team of primpers working on my ass.

Thanks to the super sexy Gaelvis for the tip!

AW

What is this bitch on?

2007-01-12T13:02:00.000-06:00

Paula Abdul is jacked up on something in this video. She is loooooooooopy!

Lickety-split! Brit-Brit got herself some new hair.

2007-01-12T11:19:00.000-06:00

Yes, Britney's new hair-did is the highlight of my day so far but what I really want to know is, is she wearing the same mini skirt that she did below in the infamous Matt Lauer bubble-gum-snapping interview?
Oh snap!

AW

The very essence of class.

2007-01-12T10:56:00.000-06:00

Britney Spears is the most glamorous woman alive. I'm mesmorized by her every move. In fact, this weekend I'm planning a $50 shopping spree for myself at Wal-Mart to recreate this stunning look. I'll let you know how it goes.

(source)
AW