Tuesday, October 31, 2006

She's a Slut-iac, Slut-iac on the floor!

Lindsay Lohan spreading disease at some Halloween party.

Lindsay Blohan was recently quoted in a National Ledger article as saying:

"It is the variety of partners everyone likes, especially at my age. I'm like Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't need a steady relationship. I mean if the sex is bad, the relationship's not going anywhere. Anyway, I don't even think I have had my best kiss yet."
Look Lindsay, in case you've been too high to scan through a tabloid in the past year...let me catch you up: Angelina Jolie has cohabitated with the sexiest man alive. She's allowed him to legally adopt her 2 exotic babies and popped out a third one of their own making. For all intents and purposes she is a married, middle aged, soccer mom.

The whole slut thing is so 2003.

AW

Friday, October 27, 2006

Damnnnnn! Look at that wagon she's draggin'!

Dianna Ross's 62 year old booty defies gravity. Oh. My. God. How is that possible?
(source)

AW

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The First Person I Thought of When I Saw This Video...

K-Fed

But Besides that, the lyrics and this video is pure genius! Pay attention to Donnie Osmond breakin' it down in the background! I can't get enough. Weird Al has still got it!


Lady is a tramp. A toad lickin' tramp!

Meet Lady, a suburban cocker spaniel with a dirty secret. She likes to get high by licking toads....I swear I'm not making this up. I heard about it on NPR. Click here to read all about it. Seems she's cleaned her act up a little these days by only indulging on the weekends. That's my girl.

AW

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

What do you think these guys are talking about?

Somewhere Carmen Electra's ears are burning...

AW

Uh, Mary Kate. I think you forgot something.

Let's see, all this bitch does all day is shop, smoke cigarettes and drink coffee and she still can't manage to find any pants to wear?

AW

You know it's hard out here for a kept man...

I just want to slap the smug right off of his face. What a dillhole.

AW

I thought I was watching Rockstar Supernova not The Bachelor!

Tommy Lee and Lukas Rossi engage in some PDA at an album release party in LA. I bet if they got married they'd register at the Center for Disease Control and Hooters.

AW

I see London, I see France...

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty at the Moet & Chandon Fashion Party
Hoover and her crackhead boyfriend do what they do best. Get drunk and show their panties to anyone who'll look.
AW

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Retarded new Product Post #16

If your dog doesn't have the PetPeek window he is the nerdiest pup on the block. Don't you know all the cool dogs are having these installed? Actually, it's not such a bad idea. I know my fleabag would love one. To see more check out PetPeek.

Thanks to the brilliant Leisa at hautegossip.com for the tip!

AW

Amazing!

Videos like this make me happy. I could watch dominoes, factory footage and assembly lines all day long. Something about the repetitive nature of it all has a calming affect on me. That probably means I need medication.

AW

Thursday, October 12, 2006

This Is Felony Child Abuse!

Any parent that would even allow their daughter to be a fan of Paris Hilton, much less actually take said daughter to meet this skanky-bitch in person and get an autograph, should lose custody of any and all of their children immediately and then sterilized.... and then executed!! It should be a federal regulation for all parents that at the first signs that your child might even possibly know who Paris Hilton is, that child must be told what a retarded, dirty, slutty, disease-ridden whore Paris Hilton is and that she is so evil, the whole world hopes that Satan will just go on ahead and take his favorite bitch back home to hell.

If that were my daughter I would slap that piece of paper away from her hand to prevent any spread of Paris' diseases to my offspring. And then I would slap Paris for exhaling in my air-space just for good measure. And then soak my arm in bleach, of course.

meow -

Saturday, October 07, 2006

The Face of Rehab, Part Duh


Pete Duh-erty is seen out Friday night after a smackdown fight with apparently on-again co-junkie girlfriend Kate Moss. The anti-opiate implant isn't working for Petey. His body loves the junk so much it destroyed that shit upon receipt. His body just will not tolerate anything trying to fuck around with its high!

On a side note, what's up with his stomach?


Friday, October 06, 2006

Getting Banged, Then Banged, and Then Banged..


You just know he promised her if she let him film them that it wouldn't end up on the internet! What a dirtbag!


Two If By Spaceship...















Posh and Katie leave The Ritz in Paris yesterday or today maybe. Katie looks totally uncomfortable in that horrific dress and shoes. It just does not work on her! And is it me or does she seem way more dressed up than Posh or anybody around? You know Posh was all paranoid about hanging out with a younger chick and totally told Katie she should wear that ugly ensemble just to make herself look better. And it worked! Posh actually looks like the hot one! The weird just keeps on coming...

Thursday, October 05, 2006

You can be K-Fed for Halloween!

White trash wife, Ferrari and lack of talent not included. Wear at your own risk. May cause unexplained laziness, delusions of grandeur and wigger like symptoms which could include excessive spending and vulgar display of "bling".

Buy it here.

AW

Gangsta bitch

Sienna Miller's all, "Notting Hill, motherf*ckers!" Word.

AW

Jackbutt Two

Holland Plaza in Orange City, Iowa found the name of the movie Jackass 2 offensive. This was their solution. I like it.

AW

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Where the stretch marks have no name...

Bono has fallen victim to what my dad usually calls "the Furniture Disease" which means his chest has fallen into his drawers.

AW

Location, location, location...

NORML has come up with a very clever advertising strategy. I wonder if they have signs near the potato chip aisle and the ice cream freezers too?

AW

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Sienna Miller, we need to talk.

Sienna Miller shopping in London
I think it's time you fire your hair stylist. I thought you of all people would be able to afford real hair extensions. This shit looks like polyester hay.
AW

Has Scarlett has some work done?

Having seen Ghost World twenty times, I'm inclined to believe this nose job rumor. Although she was very cute in that movie, somewhere along the way she became stunning. Now we know why.

(source)
AW

Public Service Announcement: Stay in school, kids!

Nadia is a 6 year old budding tattoo artist who gave her daddy a very special birthday gift. I'm not sure if I'm horrified or touched. Whatever, I guess every girl has a dream.

Read more here.
AW

Monday, October 02, 2006

When did this happen?

I don't want to scare anyone but I think we have an ugly alert, level yellow situation going on here. Exactly when did Jessica Simpson begin resembling Sandra Bernhardt? Suddenly I feel pretty.

AW

Go Pope-rah, it's your burfday....

Okay, so it's not really our birthday but we are feeling especially fly today because we got a shout out in the Dallas Observer.

Now be a sweetie and go read our write up in the "Best Of 2006"!

Thanks Matt and welcome to all the Dallas Observer readers, you rule.

AW

Sunday, October 01, 2006

A brand new way to embarass your friends and family.

Have you pierced every inch of your body? Have you've run out of ear lobes, eyebrows, tongues, lips or private parts? If so, we have some very exciting news for you! Now you can customize your monster truck with it's very own Bumper Piercing.
You know, it's automotive innovations like this that make me proud of my redneck heritage.

To see more pictures, click here.
AW