Retarded New Product Post #7

Presenting......The Toilet-Paper Helmet. Because a kleenex can be so unsightly and cumbersome.....

Retarded New Product Post #6

I finally know what to get Dad for Christmas. The Beer Belly.

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I say a little prayer for you...

Apparently Liz Taylor is on death's doorstep. I guess that means Michael Jackson and Bubbles are on their way home from Bahrain to visit her. I never understood how those two ended up as BFF's. Maybe he will bring her the essence of a young boy as some sort of homeopathic remedy. If that doesn't work she can always try his Jesus Juice.

(Source Daily Mail)

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I apologize in advance for this post.

I've really been debating on whether or not this crosses the line. After a discussion tonight with a few of my ladyfriends we decided that it most certainly does cross a line, therefore it must be posted. This is mildy offensive, decidely disgusting but susprisingly you might laugh. I did. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a work of art entitled simply, "World Record #4: Peristaltic Action” by Michelle Hines.

In February 1995, working with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, Hines adopted a fiber-rich diet. This led to her successfully producing a single piece of excrement the length of an adult colon: 26 feet. Hines documented the occasion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which had a length of floor long enough for the "work of art". Her diet was supplemented by a large intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The week prior to the "unveiling" was ensured by the use of a butt-plug.

I'm already ashamed of myself for posting this. Absolutely disgusted. Bring on the hate mail.

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Really? You don't say.....

Study: When Paris Hilton, Anna Nicole Smith, Donald Trump Appear In Ads, Consumers Are Less Likely To Buy The Product...

Leave it to the New York Post to state the obvious.

(via nypost)

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Tom Cruise is the New Michael Jackson

As Joel Goodman would say "What the fuck"? Standing on top of cars by celebrities is like "jumping the shark" for TV Shows. You just know it's never ever going to be any good again. And when I say "it", I mean "brain function".

Can somebody loan me $18.29?

This dude must be hard up to sell his gold tooth on ebay. I have some Mrs. Winner's coupons I can send him if he's this desperate for some cash. Check this shit out.

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Who is Toothy Tile?

We all have our suspicions. LA over at My Looking Glass has an excellent critical analysis of the mystery that is Toothy Tile. It is the best blow-by-blow breakdown we've found of Ted's Blind Vices about him. Click here to check it out!

Thanks LA!

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Things You Can See in Tennessee

OK - So I'm driving home from work yesterday (4/20) and I see this flat-bed truck with a freeking dog standing on the back..no leash..not tied on or anything. The interstate, people. I mean, what if he saw a rabbit or something and lept off only to roll under the car behind? So being the safe and un-distracted driver that I am, I pulled out the old video camera and tried to get it on film without wrecking...so please excuse all the jerkiness.

So here it is ... A Pope-rah Original:

Laugh Out Loud Video of the Day

This guy's fucked up. On what I cannot figure out. I also cannot figure out how he can still be conscience in this condition. But I give it up to the dude. He is one determined motha'. Watch the whole thing...you won't be disappointed.

Why?

I would say this constitutes animal cruelty if that pig didn't look so damn happy about it. It would have been funnier if they would have tatooed a big hot-dog bun or maybe Parislut and her big honker on there.

He's makin' an honest woman of her!

As you know, Pope-rah is two BFFs. Well, one of us went and got engaged this weekend!

I couldn't be happier for her. Her guy is super cute and got my seal of approval the first time he e-mailed me a funny story about her. When he called her "our girl" I knew he was willing to share her and the world wouldn't come to screeching halt just because he was a good kisser and smelled yummy. I never thought she would find such a perfect match but they light up the place wherever they go. She cracks him up (she cracks us all up for that matter) and he keeps her on her toes and betwen you and me, it means I get a little break! You see, my girl can be quite a handful sometimes but she's a fucking awesome friend all the time. Lord knows she's been there for me. I love you both and can't wait for the adventures to come!

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Retarded new product post #5

Okay, at first this wasn't supposed to turn into a series, but Retarded New Product Post just won't go away because I keep running across shit like this:

It works like a hula-hoop from what I can tell. There must be millions to be made in the fitness market. We've already proved that we'll buy the thighmaster, the sauna belt, the gazelle. Go ahead, laugh all you want. Next time you see me I'll be dancing my way to Skinnytown.

Check out the Dancing UFO here.

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Always Look On The Bright Side?

Attention Paris Hilton:

Thank you.

More Tales from Craigslist

Tonight for dinner you can have 4 peas and all the ice cream you can eat.


(Via Craigslist)

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Retarded new product post #4

The Brief Safe. Apparently hidden deep inside the fly of these underware is a velcro-closed secret compartment. Gross. Check it out here.

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EWWW!

Okay....now I'm going to go crawl under the covers and suck my thumb...

Retarded Retro Product Post

Can we please bring these back? Pope-rah needs some action!

Faith, the bi-ped dog

Retarded New Product Post #3

The antitheft rings make alarm sounds if the rings are pulled out. The rings are put through the legs of a table. Because heaven help the man who tries to steal my astro-turf slippers!

CD

Monkeys are Funny

This monkey and his cat remind me a little bit of Tom Cruise and his Kat. But while the monkey and his cat are cute, the Cruise and his Kat are creepy.

Enjoy and sorry I can't figure out how to post it without auto-play...

UPDATE: Figured out how to post without auto-play so you can just play it whenever you're ready.

Dammit! I Need to Get A Dog!

Somebody Wants to Stick It to Bush

This picture of Bush is made up of pictures of like 1200 pictures of various actual assholes....Let's think about this: Someone out there had to find all of kinds of pictures of all of these various assholes and then organize and group them so that they look like Dubya. Man! Someone really really really thinks he's an asshole!! That's what I call stick-to-it-ivness!

Oh-uh-you can click on the picture to see all of this for yourself but Be Warned! May cause you to vomit in your mouth a little bit.

Retarded new product post #2

Who would buy this?
Hugh Hefner?
Jenna Jameson?
Paris Hilton?

(via popculturejunkies)

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More tales from Craigslist

Dang. Brush yo funky mouth!

"But boy is halitosis is a buzzkill."

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Tom Cruise is the sanest man alive.

"He commissioned an adult-sized 'binky' for her to clench between her teeth, hoping that it'll squelch her screams," a source tells the mag. "In keeping with a Scientology silent birth, Tom is prepared to do whatever it takes to muffle Katie's moans and groans during the delivery."

Oh. My. God. I would tell him exactly where to put that binky. What an ass.
(via ny daily news)

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Happy Little Trees

MTV has an article about the new Bob Ross video game that's in the works. I swear this isn't an April Fool's joke.

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Retarded new product post #1

Seriously. WTF? Are we so bored with ice cream that we have come to this?
(via ice cream usa)

The gayest instrument ever created

You would need the sword end of this thing to protect yourself from gettin' an ass whoopin' if you were caught playing it in public. This has got to be the dorkiest shit I've ever seen.
(via music thing)

Funny ha-ha, not funny queer.

Take a second and check out Married to the Sea. Drew and Natalie create daily cartoons using antique clip art images. Some of it's dark, some of it's mildly offensive but all of it's funny.

Extra crispy geek goodness!

Yeah. That's right. It's a USB powered tanning device. If the day ever comes when I want to purchase this product, please come unplug my laptop and force me out into the fresh air and sunshine. I'm serious.
(via ThinkGeek)