Ear Muffs!

Madonna and Gwynneth Paltrow at an Oscar party

You can't swing a dead cat around these two without hitting a fake British accent. Gwinnie looks like she's complaining about the lack of decent help working the party. She's all "What's a lass gotta do to get a pint around here?" I'd like to tell her to kiss my arse.

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The Incredible Shrinking Ho

I'm no expert on Jenna Jameson but it occured to me today after I saw this photo of her that something is definitely wrong.
Here's the before picture of Jenna from about 3 years ago. Just your average, run of the mill, super hot, porn star:

And here she is a few years later. Looking like she has AIDS or at the very least a nasty crystal meth habit. Am I crazy or has she shed ALOT of weight lately? Somethin' ain't right.

Click on picture to enlarge

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Head Bitches in Charge

I love this picture. Nicole Kidman is so out of place with these bitches. You know Mary J. Blige can barely contain the urge to cut her ass. And what's up with Oprah showing so much cleavage? Damnnnn girl! Talk about a "full circle" moment.

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Once Upon a Time...Rose MacGowan edition

Let's be honest. This bitch is hot. She even made Charmed watchable. She's had her moments of insanity (i.e. sleeping with Marilyn Manson and that chained link dress she wore to the VMA's) but she's also had moments of brilliance. I loved the movie Jawbreaker and she still looked semi-human in The Black Dahlia but I'm afraid those days are over now as it seems our Rose has developed a love of plastic surgery. See below for proof!

Rose MacGowan at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, 2007

Now she looks like she's 3 surgeries away from realizing her dream of being a Dixie Carter impersonator.

Dixie Carter

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Friday Funny

Sorry we've been slackin' off on the posts this week. The other Pope had the nerve to go to Miami for a quick vacay without me. Without her here I get lazy so blame her.

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Twinkie-dinks!

Do you remember when Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow were dating and they slowly began to look like each other? I swear, at one point you couldn't tell if they were twins or a couple. It was creepy in a Hemingway, "Garden of Eden" kind of way. I wonder if this whole shaved head fiasco was really just a subliminal message to Justin Timberlake. Maybe she'll grow a mustache next. That would be hot.

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Don't Feel Sorry For Her

Britney Spears got out Saturday night for a birthday party at the Roxy in L.A. wearing a kiosk-mall wig after shaving her head Friday. Don't feel sorry for this ho! She is doing this for the attention. Someone with her cash could have called someone to her house to shave her head or sent someone out for shears if she was just doing it "for a fresh start" or "to rebel". She wanted to do it in front of the cameras. She also could have invited people to her house to celebrate her "friend's" birthday. There are ways to stay away from the paps. Lots of celebs do it all the time. Make no mistake this bitch lives for the cameras!

Bet You Didn't Know Britney Shaved Her Head...

Picture Source: Egotastic

It's not like it was on EVERY NEWS CHANNEL IN THE WORLD.....*sigh*

Let's see... she checks in to rehab, checks out the next day, flies to Miami, then flies coach to LA, then shaves her head, then gets a couple of new tats. Home-ho is really bugging out! Maybe she has post-partum depression. Maybe she's a little retarded slow in the head due to lack of education or ever having to figure out how to do anything for herself.... or maybe it's all the drugs.

Picture Source: X17

UPDATE: Somebody at ONTD is reporting that she checked into Cedars Sinai and was diagnosed with meth Amphetamine psychosis but bolted in a fit or paranoia, and is now going to do a $cientology Detox. Those damn $cientologists would have to get their evil little hands in the middle it. They smelled cash.

Grammy Flashback

Prince performs at the 1985 Grammy Awards.

Let's reflect back to a much more innocent time in the world: 1985. Prince was king coming off Grammy and Oscar wins for Purple Rain. to do this live performance the 1985 Grammy Awards. He totally works it! Check out the audience who runs up to dance at the end. Really check them out...hair, attire, dancing.... This video just takes me back and makes me feel all young and permed again. Enjoy!

Who came up with this ad campaign?

I don't know if this is real or not. Even if it has been photoshopped it might as well be true. This Valentine's Day take a minute to send some love and positive thoughts to our boys and girls overseas.

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Blind Item

Drunk & Fired?
Who’s rumoured to be thrown off his latest movie because he can’t stay sober? It wasn’t a starring role but those kinds of jobs are few and far between these days. Obviously being a dickhead has a lot to do with it…as does looking bloated most of the time. And unfortunately he doesn’t have Vince Vaughn’s charm. Or, for that matter, Vince’s more successful, more sought-after counterpart...which actually might be part of the problem.
Huge ego problem, not enough talent to back it up, using numbs the insecurity.
Always the same story.
Source

I'm guessing Luke Wilson. The clues seem to point there with "Vince's more successful..counterpart" being Luke's brother Owen (brothers being so competitive being part of the "insecurity" problem. Also Luke's has been considered bigger/bloated lately.

A Little Good News to Make You Smile on Valentine's Day

Old picture of Paris Hilton in tears after getting booted out of Bungalow 8 in NYC last year

Paris Hilton was booted out of the Sony Party last weekend. Janet Charlton reports:

"Paris and her posse sneaked into the Sony party in the Beverly Hills Hotel. Apparently she knows of an obscure entrance. Anyway, she was starting to mingle when security approached her and informed her that she was NOT ON THE LIST! She couldn't talk her way into their good graces and agreed to leave, but dawdled and chatted as she slowly headed to the exit. Guards became annoyed and MARCHED Paris and her embarrassed friends OUT like sheep. "

That's the kind of Paris story I like to hear if I must have to hear about her at all. Maybe next time I could hear about some wonderful African-American, Gay and Jewish-Religious people getting together to beat her racist, ostrich-face ass to a pulp.

A Little Taste

D - Hopefully he won't run around holding a camera in front of his face when we see him in 32 days...

W - It was like watching the Blair Witch Project. I expected to see snot and tears at any moment.

Orangina

Christina Aguilera arriving at the 2007 Grammy Awards

W - She looks like she's been tanning with Lohan.

D - I barely recognized her without her fire-engine red lipstick...I guess she realized that red might clash with orange.

That's A Man, Baby!

Ciara arrives at the 49th Annual Grammy Awards February 11, 2007

D - Seriously, that's a man....right??

W - I think I see a 5 o'clock shadow.

They Will Let Anybody Into the Grammys

D - Who they? And what's wrong with that guy's face?

W - He's got that Fabio thing going on with his face and a TV preacher hair-do. How much hairspray do you think he has on?

D - Hookers

W - The Pussyrot Dolls

D - Kimberly Caldwell?!?!? How did this American Idol reject from eons ago get a ticket? The grammy's are losing all credibility to me. If Justin Timberlake doesn't win at least 2 awards tonight, then the Grammy's will become as important as the Blockbuster Awards in my eyes.

W - Again, I have no idea who this chick is. Who are these people????

Living rooms, bed rooms, dinettes!

"It's just like, it's just like, a mini-mall".....Who knew Montgomery, AL had so much natural talent and fabulous shopping?

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Joy & Pain

How to find joy when there's so much pain in the world? You have to find joy in the pain, people!

Marc Jacobs is a weirdo.

Okay, so Dakota Fanning is a cute enough little girl I guess. Although I'm beginning to wonder if she's the only damn kid in Hollywood. She's like 12 years old and has already done 33 movies. This kid gets more work than Philip Seymor Hoffman for Christ's sake!

Designer Marc Jacobs has now jumped on the Fanning bandwagon. He's made her the "star" of his latest ad campaign and I don't know about you, but these ads really creep me out. They look like they were shot in the basement of a pedophile's house. Check it out:

In the picture below she's just a wig and a tapdance routine away from being Jon Benet Ramsey.I think the next one bothers me the most. Is that her "come hither" look? Ewww!

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Buy Some Vowels, Bitches!

Click here to copycat make your own.

This is a 43 Year Old Man

click to enlarge

YES, It is.

I'm not kidding..
.....

The Problem With Fergie's Face

Everyday, many, many people come up to me and ask, "What the hell is wrong with Fergie's face?" I know, it has been a dilemma. There was no disputing that something was tragically wrong with her face, but sometimes it was hard to pinpoint. I've seen older pictures of her when she was in that other girl group, Wild Orchid and she was pretty cute. Then the meth took hold and she must have had some surgery to fix the meth-face. AND NOW, her eyebrows are waaay too arched. Damn, girl! That shit will age you for decades! She actually looks much cuter when her eyebrows don't seem so arched..see? Your welcome.

Pass the Dutchie on the Left Hand Side

Pharrell and Justin Timberlake were looking high as hell at this Super Bowl party. I like to think of these two as pop's answer to Cheech and Chong. Only hotter. And more productive.

Okay so they aren't like Cheech and Chong at all except for that big blunt they obviously just smoked. In the bottom photo Pharrell looks like he's about to fall flat on his face.

Can anybody make out what Justin's got in his hand? I'm just askin'. In other news...

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I blame Sienna Miller for this.

This is exactly the sort of thing I was worried about happening when I wrote this post. In what reality is this an appropriate outfit to wear anywhere other than under your clothes? Granted, it was for a Playboy party but if she was going for "sexy" it got lost in translation somewhere.

(source)
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Is Brooke Hogan a man?

Fergie and Brooke Hogan at Maxim's Pre-Super Bowl XLI Party at the Sagamore Hotel

Either Brooke is an AMAZON or Fergie is a shrimp. One thing's for sure, they could both pass for trannies.

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The Constitution of K-Mart

We have talked about Shirley Q. Liquor in the past. If you missed her the first time now's your chance to catch up. Have a blessed day.

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Note to self...buy new socks.

Paul Wolfowitz, the head of the World Bank was visiting Turkey this weekend when he had to take his shoes off to enter a local mosque and the world caught a glimpse of his raggedy old socks. You know this man is a multi-millionaire. What the hell?

(source)
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Pukey Hilton's to-do list

This is a list found in Paris Hilton's storage unit along with all the other pieces of slutty memorabilia she's kept over the years. In the past week we've confirmed that Paris has herpes and now we find out that she's got bulimia. You're all shocked, I'm sure. Call me if you feel like throwing up.

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What's a guy got to do to get buried around here?

James Brown has STILL not been buried yet. Can you believe this shit? As of today, he has been dead 38 days and 14 hours and is still above ground. He's in a sealed casket waiting for burial in Augusta, GA as soon as his crazy ghetto family settle his estate. I'm way past creeped out over this. Bury his ass already!

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I smell a rat.

Denise Richards and Richie Sambora frolic on the beach in Hawaii

I've always been slightly suspicious of this coupling. I'm not sure why. It could have something to do with the fact that Richie Sambora has hairy pink man boobs while Denise Richards is sex on a stick.

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