Scrappy New Year!

Heee! I had not seen this yet. It's completely bipartisan-ly funny. Well done, Dave writers!

CD

Best Presidential Nominee?

You probably haven't heard that Bill Richardson is running for the Democratic nomination for President. If you're a Democrat you need to know this as he is our best candidate running. He is the current governor of New Mexico and has been nominated 4 times for the Nobel Peace Prize for international relations. He recently negotiated with Crazy Dictaor of North Korea to have the remains of 6 US Servicmen returned to America. He was on The Daily Show while we were in Cabo. Here's his clip. I think he did a great job! Keep an eye on him.

CD

What Not to Wear - According to Crazy Mom

Katie, Suri and Tom's mother, Mary, leave one of Tom's kid's sporting events in March

One of Katie's "friends" is claiming that the brain-washee is starting to resent the controlling nature of Tom and his mother, who lives with them along with his sister and who-knows-what-other Scientology freaks assigned to mind their newly appointed "Christ".

Katie Holmes' friends say he's "meddling . . . controlling . . . won't let her out of his sight." Say she also suffers "a critical mother-in-law" who's around 24/7, monitors her clothes with "Isn't that too revealing for a wife and mother?," watches what she feeds Suri, checks Katie's own sweet tooth, saying nobody loves a fat wife, and reports all to Peeping Tom. They supposedly "beg her to break it off with Tom."

Wonder if these are the "friends" she was trying to get in contact with during the short time she was alone beginning filming of Mad Money in Louisiana? Can you imagine having to live with your Scientology Mother-In-Law? What a nightmare. Look at her. She even looks judgmental in sunglasses. And quite alien-like, funnily enough!

CD

The Blind Post

Blinds Items Found today...Guesses?

Which married bad-boy Oscar winner has a bit on the side with an early-20s NYC Latina beauty, said to resemble Beyonce? - Gatecrasher

Sean Penn (movie Bad Boys)?

So this A list film actor is currently filming on location. Did I mention he is married? So our actor has two trailers on the set. One of them is the "public" trailer, which his wife and friends of his wife get to see when they visit. The other trailer is not so public. The other trailer is basically porn central. From the PC full of porn to the DVDs, this actor definitely has a thing for it. No, I'm not going to say something like gay porn. It's straight porn. Umm, there is one thing, though. He likes porn stars to come visit so he can feel like he is a porn star. They reenact some of his favorite scenes in which the visiting porn actress starred. It certainly makes his days much more interesting than everyone else's on set. - Crazy Days...

hmmm....Sean Penn? Can he be both?

CD

Michael Jordan is a Free Man, Y'all

So it looks like Michael Jordan is enjoying his freedom after his divorce. He's pictured here partying it up with what look to be spring-breakers in Cabo a few weeks ago (No - I didn't see him when I was there). He is really getting into it. I'm thinking more like "mid-life crisis". Not sexy.

Source

CD

Smelly

Amy Winehouse answers the door in her bra a couple of days ago.

I love Amy Winehouse's music - A LOT - but homegirl is naasty. Everything about her looks sickly and unclean. Why are all of the best musicians junkie-psychos?

She used to look totally adorable. Class A Drugs are BAD, BAD, BAD, people....

CD

"Right Cast" = No Drunkst

Toby Maguire says he may be up for a 4th Spider-Man, of course with a lot of "ifs" - coz you know he doesn't want to ever have to work with Drunkst again. I mean I can actuall feel the loathing coming from this picture. Toby says:

“They’ll definitely develop a fourth movie,” Maguire said, “and write a
screenplay and I would consider it if there’s a good script, a good story
that I felt was worth telling and [director] Sam Raimi was involved and the
right cast came together for it.”

You know what he means. I would actually be very interested in watching a 4th Spider-Man if it included the "right cast" - no Mary Jane and Will Ferrell as a grown-up Spidey. He always makes me laugh in tight costumes!

Source

CD

The Blind Post

Blinds Items Found today...Guesses?

Which fatphobic supermodel paid for her PR rep's liposuction as a "present"? - Gatecrasher

Janice Dickinson? Kate Moss?

At a certain party this weekend, everyone thought bf/gf would pair off. The tabs said that gf paired off with another guy not her bf but they were also wrong. Turns out gf had her eyes set on the rich guy in the corner who she thought would be just right. She gave it her very best effort, but was turned down not because she did anything wrong, but because the rich guy in the corner wanted her bf. The gf thought that would be fun and made the proposition to her bf. He freaked out and she was pissed off. No one ended up with anyone. Which really might not be a bad thing. - Crazy Days & Nights

Paris Hilton, James Blunt, Josh Henderson? - eewww

CD

Celebrities are idiots.

“When I’m really hot, I can walk into a room and if a man doesn’t look at me, he’s probably gay.” — Kathleen Turner

“Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.” — Charles Barkley

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” and “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears

“We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” — NBA player Jason Kidd
“I look at [modeling] as something I’m doing for black people in general.” — model Naomi Campbell

AW

This is a public service announcement.

Thank you, that will be all.

AW

It's Monday and I'm feeling easily amused.

AW

Blind Item

Pretty good Blind Item from Lainey. I really have no idea, but Sienna is my guess based on her hint from today (last quote).

ANTOTHER ON THE VERGE

"Depressed and directionless and bitterly disappointed over recent professional failures and feeling stifled by a ruthless mentor, she is apparently on the verge – like a Britney verge. Except in her case, she’s lucky the pappies don’t have so much access.
Wild, wild partying and an endless cocktail of serious drugs supplied by an unsavoury group of new friends who are as degenerate as they come, relentlessly pushing their poisons into her body. And apparently she’s too messed up to stand up and walk out. Word is she’s either “out of it” half the time or so wild on tilt with insatiable chemical appetite that even her
people can barely control her. She has been late or absent from a few recent engagements and while she was fortunate enough to have her team make new arrangements on the fly, her reputation is beginning to suffer…though that’s not the biggest problem.
The old friends fear the new friends are taking her down a dangerous path. Recent night out – by the end of the evening she was limp and lifeless and supposedly serviced by two different men and also at one point full on making out with another woman. She’s also been known to go missing, totally unreachable for hours at a time, and when she resurfaces, she’s a frightful mess.
Of course there are those trying to help her. And some days, she knows and she tries. But when the night comes and that crowd is calling, it’s trouble all over again.
Not Lindsay. "

AND THE HINT FROM TODAY "It's not Mischa Barton. Think more talented. And it’s not Rumer Willis. While Rumer is famous on the coattails of her parents, Verge Girl is famous on the coattails or the jocktails of someone else. "

What do you guys think?

CD

JLo = Humility

Jennifer Lopez in Paris promoting her sucky Spanish album.

Jennifer Lopez really thinks she's all that as she greets her "people" as she calls them because she thinks she reigns over them as their Queen. Where is PETA with a can of paint when you need them?

CD

Where is Pope-rah?

Anna Nicole is dead. James Brown is finally in the ground. Britney's out of rehab and Justin Timberlake officially "Rocked our Bodies".

Then I went to Vegas and now CD is preparing to leave for Cabo.

We aren't dead and haven't abandoned Pope-rah, we're just exhausted with celebretards and what not. I promise we'll be back as soon as we finish nursing our hangovers and unpacking from our vacays! Like really soon, I swear to God.

AW

Hot and Generous!

Brooke Burke and David Charvet bought 40 burgers and fries from Burger King and handed them out to the homeless in Santa Monica. They have a brand new baby at home so I'm not sure why they are doing this instead of at home inhaling that sweet baby smell but it's totally awesome of them to do it!

I call this "The Brangelina Syndrome" and I hope it spreads like wildfire because we need more decent and caring folks in the world.

AW

Happy Hump Day!

Deelishus of 'Flavor of Love'

Oh. My. Damn. Is that thing real or are her panties stuffed with Charmin?

AW

Her mug shot brings all the boys to the yard...

Damn right, it's better than yours! Oh Kelis, you so crazy. She got arrested in Miami this morning for screaming obscenities at undercover cops dressed as hookers and was charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. I looked like something that was pulled out of the bottom of a drain in my mug shot but hers looks pretty hot.
(source)

AW

Miss Ross and her Fanny Pack, a true Lifetime story.

What is it with Diana Ross and this fanny pack? She is fully committed to that damn thing. I guess I just don't understand the fanny pack. Is it because a purse is too heavy or is it so you can keep both hands free?

AW

When Crazy Met Cookoo

Kimora Lee Simmons and Bai Ling exchange digits at a pre-Oscar party. Bai is openly bi-sexual and the lesbo rumors have been swirling around Kimora for a while now. Is this a hook-up caught on film? Does anyone really care? I apologize for wasting your time. Carry on.

AW

Ear Muffs!

Madonna and Gwynneth Paltrow at an Oscar party

You can't swing a dead cat around these two without hitting a fake British accent. Gwinnie looks like she's complaining about the lack of decent help working the party. She's all "What's a lass gotta do to get a pint around here?" I'd like to tell her to kiss my arse.

AW

The Incredible Shrinking Ho

I'm no expert on Jenna Jameson but it occured to me today after I saw this photo of her that something is definitely wrong.
Here's the before picture of Jenna from about 3 years ago. Just your average, run of the mill, super hot, porn star:

And here she is a few years later. Looking like she has AIDS or at the very least a nasty crystal meth habit. Am I crazy or has she shed ALOT of weight lately? Somethin' ain't right.

Click on picture to enlarge

AW

Head Bitches in Charge

I love this picture. Nicole Kidman is so out of place with these bitches. You know Mary J. Blige can barely contain the urge to cut her ass. And what's up with Oprah showing so much cleavage? Damnnnn girl! Talk about a "full circle" moment.

AW

Once Upon a Time...Rose MacGowan edition

Let's be honest. This bitch is hot. She even made Charmed watchable. She's had her moments of insanity (i.e. sleeping with Marilyn Manson and that chained link dress she wore to the VMA's) but she's also had moments of brilliance. I loved the movie Jawbreaker and she still looked semi-human in The Black Dahlia but I'm afraid those days are over now as it seems our Rose has developed a love of plastic surgery. See below for proof!

Rose MacGowan at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, 2007

Now she looks like she's 3 surgeries away from realizing her dream of being a Dixie Carter impersonator.

Dixie Carter

AW

Friday Funny

Sorry we've been slackin' off on the posts this week. CD had the nerve to go to Miami for a quick vacay without me. Without her here I get lazy so blame her.

AW

Twinkie-dinks!

Do you remember when Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow were dating and they slowly began to look like each other? I swear, at one point you couldn't tell if they were twins or a couple. It was creepy in a Hemingway, "Garden of Eden" kind of way. I wonder if this whole shaved head fiasco was really just a subliminal message to Justin Timberlake. Maybe she'll grow a mustache next. That would be hot.

AW

Don't Feel Sorry For Her

Britney Spears got out Satruday night for a birthday party at the Roxy in L.A. wearing a kiosk-mall wig after shaving her head Friday. Don't feel sorry for this ho! She is doing this for the attention. Someone with her cash could have called someone to her house to shave her head or sent someone out for shears if she was just doing it "for a fresh start" or "to rebel". She wanted to do it in front of the cameras. She also could have invited people to her house to celebrate her "friend's" birthday. There are ways to stay away from the paps. Lots of celebs do it all the time. Make no mistake this bitch lives for the cameras!

CD

Bet You Didn't Know Britney Shaved Her Head...

Picture Source: Egotastic

It's not like it was on EVERY NEWS CHANNEL IN THE WORLD.....*sigh*

Let's see... she checks in to rehab, checks out the next day, flies to Miami, then flies coach to LA, then shaves her head, then gets a couple of new tats. Home-ho is really bugging out! Maybe she has post-partum depression. Maybe she's a little retarded slow in the head due to lack of education or ever having to figure out how to do anything for herself.... or maybe it's all the drugs.

Picture Source: X17

UPDATE: Somebody at ONTD is reporting that she checked into Cedars Sinai and was diagnosed with meth Amphetamine psychosis but bolted in a fit or paranoia, and is now going to do a $cientology Detox. Those damn $cientologists would have to get their evil little hands in the middle it. They smelled cash.

CD

Grammy Flashback

Prince performs at the 1985 Grammy Awards.

Let's reflect back to a much more innocent time in the world: 1985. Prince was king coming off Grammy and Oscar wins for Purple Rain. to do this live performance the 1985 Grammy Awards. He totally works it! Check out the audience who runs up to dance at the end. Really check them out...hair, attire, dancing.... This video just takes me back and makes me feel all young and permed again. Enjoy!

CD

Who came up with this ad campaign?

I don't know if this is real or not. Even if it has been photoshopped it might as well be true. This Valentine's Day take a minute to send some love and positive thoughts to our boys and girls overseas.

AW

Blind Item

Drunk & Fired?
Who’s rumoured to be thrown off his latest movie because he can’t stay sober? It wasn’t a starring role but those kinds of jobs are few and far between these days. Obviously being a dickhead has a lot to do with it…as does looking bloated most of the time. And unfortunately he doesn’t have Vince Vaughn’s charm. Or, for that matter, Vince’s more successful, more sought-after counterpart...which actually might be part of the problem.
Huge ego problem, not enough talent to back it up, using numbs the insecurity.
Always the same story.
Source

I'm guessing Luke Wilson. The clues seem to point there with "Vince's more successful..counterpart" being Luke's brother Owen (brothers being so competitive being part of the "insecurity" problem. Also Luke's has been considered bigger/bloated lately.

CD

A Little Good News to Make You Smile on Valentine's Day

Old picture of Paris Hilton in tears after getting booted out of Bungalow 8 in NYC last year

Paris Hilton was booted out of the Sony Party last weekend. Janet Charlton reports:

"Paris and her posse sneaked into the Sony party in the Beverly Hills Hotel. Apparently she knows of an obscure entrance. Anyway, she was starting to mingle when security approached her and informed her that she was NOT ON THE LIST! She couldn't talk her way into their good graces and agreed to leave, but dawdled and chatted as she slowly headed to the exit. Guards became annoyed and MARCHED Paris and her embarrassed friends OUT like sheep. "

That's the kind of Paris story I like to hear if I must have to hear about her at all. Maybe next time I could hear about some wonderful African-American, Gay and Jewish-Religious people getting together to beat her racist, ostrich-face ass to a pulp.

CD

A Little Taste

CD - Hopefully he won't run around holding a camera in front of his face when we see him in 32 days...

AW - It was like watching the Blair Witch Project. I expected to see snot and tears at any moment.

Orangina

Christina Aguilera arriving at the 2007 Grammy Awards

AW - She looks like she's been tanning with Lohan.

CD - I barely recognized her without her fire-engine red lipstick...I guess she realized that red might clash with orange.

That's A Man, Baby!

Ciara arrives at the 49th Annual Grammy Awards February 11, 2007

CD - Seriously, that's a man....right??

AW - I think I see a 5 o'clock shadow.

They Will Let Anybody Into the Grammys

CD - Who they? And what's wrong with that guy's face?

AW - He's got that Fabio thing going on with his face and a TV preacher hair-do. How much hairspray do you think he has on?

CD - Hookers

AW - The Pussyrot Dolls

CD - Kimberly Caldwell?!?!? How did this American Idol reject from eons ago get a ticket? The grammy's are losing all credibility to me. If Justin Timberlake doesn't win at least 2 awards tonight, then the Grammy's will become as important as the Blockbuster Awards in my eyes.

AW - Again, I have no idea who this chick is. Who are these people????

Living rooms, bed rooms, dinettes!

"It's just like, it's just like, a mini-mall".....Who knew Montgomery, AL had so much natural talent and fabulous shopping?

AW

Joy & Pain

How to find joy when there's so much pain in the world? You have to find joy in the pain, people!

CD

Marc Jacobs is a weirdo.

Okay, so Dakota Fanning is a cute enough little girl I guess. Although I'm beginning to wonder if she's the only damn kid in Hollywood. She's like 12 years old and has already done 33 movies. This kid gets more work than Philip Seymor Hoffman for Christ's sake!

Designer Marc Jacobs has now jumped on the Fanning bandwagon. He's made her the "star" of his latest ad campaign and I don't know about you, but these ads really creep me out. They look like they were shot in the basement of a pedophile's house. Check it out:

In the picture below she's just a wig and a tapdance routine away from being Jon Benet Ramsey.I think the next one bothers me the most. Is that her "come hither" look? Ewww!

AW

Buy Some Vowels, Bitches!

Click here to copycat make your own.

CD

This is a 43 Year Old Man

click to enlarge

YES, It is.

I'm not kidding..
.....
CD

The Problem With Fergie's Face

Everyday, many, many people come up to me and ask, "What the hell is wrong with Fergie's face?" I know, it has been a dilemma. There was no disputing that something was tragically wrong with her face, but sometimes it was hard to pinpoint. I've seen older pictures of her when she was in that other girl group, Wild Orchid and she was pretty cute. Then the meth took hold and she must have had some surgery to fix the meth-face. AND NOW, her eyebrows are waaay too arched. Damn, girl! That shit will age you for decades! She actually looks much cuter when her eyebrows don't seem so arched..see? Your welcome.
CD

Pass the Dutchie on the Left Hand Side

Pharrell and Justin Timberlake were looking high as hell at this Super Bowl party. I like to think of these two as pop's answer to Cheech and Chong. Only hotter. And more productive.

Okay so they aren't like Cheech and Chong at all except for that big blunt they obviously just smoked. In the bottom photo Pharrell looks like he's about to fall flat on his face.

Can anybody make out what Justin's got in his hand? I'm just askin'. In other news...

AW

I blame Sienna Miller for this.

This is exactly the sort of thing I was worried about happening when I wrote this post. In what reality is this an appropriate outfit to wear anywhere other than under your clothes? Granted, it was for a Playboy party but if she was going for "sexy" it got lost in translation somewhere.

(source)
AW

Is Brooke Hogan a man?

Fergie and Brooke Hogan at Maxim's Pre-Super Bowl XLI Party at the Sagamore Hotel

Either Brooke is an AMAZON or Fergie is a shrimp. One thing's for sure, they could both pass for trannies.

AW

The Constitution of K-Mart

We have talked about Shirley Q. Liquor in the past. If you missed her the first time now's your chance to catch up. Have a blessed day.

AW

Note to self...buy new socks.

Paul Wolfowitz, the head of the World Bank was visiting Turkey this weekend when he had to take his shoes off to enter a local mosque and the world caught a glimpse of his raggedy old socks. You know this man is a multi-millionaire. What the hell?

(source)
AW

Pukey Hilton's to-do list

This is a list found in Paris Hilton's storage unit along with all the other pieces of slutty memorabilia she's kept over the years. In the past week we've confirmed that Paris has herpes and now we find out that she's got bulimia. You're all shocked, I'm sure. Call me if you feel like throwing up.

AW

What's a guy got to do to get buried around here?

James Brown has STILL not been buried yet. Can you believe this shit? As of today, he has been dead 38 days and 14 hours and is still above ground. He's in a sealed casket waiting for burial in Augusta, GA as soon as his crazy ghetto family settle his estate. I'm way past creeped out over this. Bury his ass already!

AW

I smell a rat.

Denise Richards and Richie Sambora frolic on the beach in Hawaii

I've always been slightly suspicious of this coupling. I'm not sure why. It could have something to do with the fact that Richie Sambora has hairy pink man boobs while Denise Richards is sex on a stick.

AW

She's returning it tomorrow.

I know it seems like I'm obsessing over this tart today but I just saw this picture and noticed what looks to be the plastic hangy-down-thingy that price tags are on. She should have saved the tag from those granny panties she's wearing as pants. I am so confused by them. It's January and the bitch is wearing tights and panties to a party.

AW

Blink once for yes and 32 times for no.

Wake up , Cheney!

(source)

AW

They never listen...

We've already been through this with Blowhan. Panties are not pants! I just don't get it. Does she think that she's in Fame or something? You might think she's leaving the set from some step aerobics video in 1982 but she's not. She's headed to the Chelsea Hotel for an after party for the Factory Girl premier. Is it a girdle? Did Katie Holmes start a trend by baring her SPANX?

(source)

AW

Our Lady of Gaultier

So the rich and famous just returned from French fashion week in Paris. Get a load of the newest trend:

Uh huh. That's right. Jean Paul Gaultier is responsible for this: Christian couture.

Ask yourself, WWMW? (What would Mary wear?)
Can't you just see our blessed mother wearing a blue silk slip?
Not to be outdone, Donatella Versace has created a men's wear line inspired by her favorite priest.
Father forgive me for I am FABULOUS!

AW

Dang! I Miss Steve Irwin!

Ross "The Intern" mingles with Steve Irwin. Good Stuff.

CD