Who needs a day off?

Not Paris Hilton. What a work ethic! She may be an heiress but she didn't sit around all weekend. It's nice to see her hard at work doing what she does best.

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When Did Tom Become Taller Than Katie?

**top pics = relationship is new
bottom pics = yesterday at a game


This just goes against all that is scientific and natural. Is he crazy enough to think we won't notice?!? He totally has to be wearing the equivalent of 5 inch heels in those boots. The toes don't look natural. I was so hoping yesterday's rumor of her running off mad to Toledo was true, but I guess not. The contract termination date hasn't come yet. This couple completely gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Mia, is that you?

Kylie Minogue is bringing back the Rosemary's Baby look.

She's hot, hair or no hair. I'm glad she beat the cancer.

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What's Gayer than Brokeback Mountain?

Holy Crap! I'm so ashamed to admit this, but I totally sat through ALL two hours and 4 1/2 minutes of American Idol last night. There were sooo many beautiful and deserving clips that should be posted today, but this one is getting the honors as it is the most hilarious (and the first one I found).

This little guy didn't make it through the audtions, but had said he was "the next Clay Aiken". I kept arguing with my fian-slave that he just had to be "special".... I think you'll agree. I love they way he practically falls in to Seacrest's arms. Gaykin totally looks like a chick in a suit.

Eyesore

This breezy decided that actually wearing glasses on the bridge of his nose was too much trouble so he took it to the next level. I've begun to see some Blade Runner type body mods on-line lately and it's really starting to freak me out. Check out his story here while I go try to erase this photo from my mind.

I guess it had to happen.

We had to turn on word verification on the comments because the spammers finally got us. Sorry for the inconvenience guys.

Must everything she wear be striped?

Seriously, Avril. It's time to experiment with other looks. Namely solids.

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Watch this

This is cute and borderline creepy. Dad gets the all four of the quadruplets laughing at the same time and it's mildly disturbing to me for some reason. Click here to watch.

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Is that butter?

Amanda Bynes at the premier of the "The Break Up". I understand the incredible importance of mosturizing but come on! Look at her legs. Seriously.

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Yep. They're still creepy.

Like real-live little Blythe dolls. *shudder*

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This shit warms my icy cold heart.

I'm not going to sit here and say that BritBrit is the best mother ever. But come on people! Look at this picture!

My girl's only 25 years old, has a stoned-spend-a-holic husband, several mortgages, the press down her back and the whold world judging everything from the size of her ass to what she feeds the SPF. This picture makes me want to forgive and forget a multitude of her past indescretions. Awwwwwwwww.

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Damn, that was quick!

How did she go from this:

to this so quickly?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't she just start this diet about 8 weeks ago? Her secret must be TrimSpa....Dammit, I want my own trainer and chef. Miss Nasty looks hot.

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Rate My Turban

Finally, a website devoted entirely to turbans. Ratemyturban.com doesn't discriminate. Large or small, plain or fancy, smelly or smellier you can find a rainbow of headwraps here in one spot. Aren't we lucky? Try to contain your excitement.

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Retarded New Product Post #9

How have I lived this long without a dog butt towel holder? Seriously.

(source Gadgetreporter)

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This Just In!!! Sucking Face is Good for you!

As if we needed another excuse to make out. Isn't this the cheesiest 70's gold photo you've ever seen? If you want all the juicy details click here.

(source bitsofnews.com)

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First Britney, Now George...

WTF? Seriously, I'm so grateful people don't chase me around for photo-ops. This would probably be my pose 90% of the time. And by the way, this is my absolute favorite photo of Brit, EVAH!

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Honor Thy Mother

Straying away from the humor and the trivial and the trivial humor for a quick couple of minutes. This movie looks riveting and I've heard nothing but kudos about it since it started airing. Check out this full-length trailer and let me know what you think.

Hugs to cs for enlightning the pope-rah.

Satan's face found on Madonna's back!

Step right up folks! See the vision of Satan himself on the back of Madonna.

(source)

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"Because nothing says I love you more than a hot cup of tea in the face."

Finally, a line of cards for bitches like me. Grating Cards is an Austrailian company that has created an entire line of greeting cards that express your REAL feelings. They have one for every possible effed up occasion, weddings, babies, I cheated on you, etc...Click here to check out the others.

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Mother of the Year Nominee

SKOWHEGAN, Maine (AP) -- A 43-year-old woman is charged with helping her daughter and two other teenage girls bake cookies laced with a laxative that were then given to a teacher.

(source Billings Gazette)

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Nerds are so creative.

I bet this is where they sit when they have "dates" with their on-line babes. That couch probably has enough DNA evidence to recreate the entire Starship Enterprise.

(source)

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A Star is Born

This is most awesome! If you don't at least get a good giggle out of this then I can't be seen with you anymore -- as I worship at the alter of The Dance!

Props to the sex-ay Cheryl P. for gettin' me a clue.

Klingon or National Security Advisor?

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Is Your Redwood a Boy or Girl?

Nothing further, Your Honor.

For All of You Who Didn't Know

THIS is how you eat Watermelon! Screw all those salad bars that pre-cut it into cubes! This is the real deal. And you could have had this knowledge since the 70's if you'd have been paying closer attention to obscure television shows from the DC area. I've really been wasting all these years.....

Hey Everybody! Take Off Your Pants!

When you go out for drinks after work today be sure to leave your pants at the coat-check!

Click here to see that I'm not making this up and you can even get some flyers to hand out!
No Pants Day

1200 POUND MAN

I would make some kind of joke about the last time he's seen his balls, but um....err....uhh...I'm not exactly sure what that is hangin down beside his legs/feet.

Retarded Product Post #8

Do I really need to smell like Play-Doh, Sephora?

(Source)
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Body grooming is a sensitive issue.

Okay, all you hairy apes out there, please take a moment of your time to watch this quick video. Phillips wants you to shave your balls.

"Grooming your back, chest, bleep and bleep demands a certain delicacy that may have been difficult to attain until now...."

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More Tales from Craigslist

"Fuck you, boob sweat."

(Via Craigslist)

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Celebs chewing gum

I'm not sure why this gets on my nerves so bad. It may stem from the fact that as a child, any time I chewed gum my dad told me I looked "like a cow chewing on cud". Gee, thanks dad. And I wonder why I have self-esteem issues as an adult. As anyone can clearly see from the photos above, chewing gum only makes you appear more glamorous, classy and smart. Don't be glib, Dad. I KNOW about chewing gum.

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Don't Be Jealous of My Skillz

Test Your Skillz - If you Dare

Then let ol' pope-rah know how ya done did! I'd tell you my time, but I'm still trying to get it to a respectable low - maybe after all the booze I had a lunch wears off.

Animals Continue to Amuse Me

I know, I know...I'm a sucker for the funny animal shit! I can't help it....I love to giggle!

AWESOME New Product Post

Remember that birthday I was telling you about? For the love of all things holy, can somone get me one of these, please? I tell you, I am always losing my pens.....I'd get it myself but I'm broke.

How is This Not in My Music Collection?

But my birthday is coming up, ya'll! And I'm ready to be devestated by Dave and his gerry-curl. Do you think he's biting his upper lip like that because his balls are being squished all up in those tight leather pants...

Uh..I just threw up in my mouth a little bit........

Click here for more of the stuff we should all have in our music collections.

Thanks to the handsome Jeff D. for the heads-up.

David Bowie is very disappointed in you.

Seriously, he is. So are Gary Coleman and Tim Curry. I just felt the collective eyerole of the entire internet. Now I'm disappointed in you too. Go to your room!

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Like, totally

That price is definitely not awesome. $589.00? If this is the rate of deflation, maybe I can get a video iPod in a couple of years for $19.99.

You've come a long way, digital audio. Smoke up.

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